Online Couples Therapy
“Love drives us to bond emotionally with the precious few others who offer safe haven from storms of life.”
- Dr. Sue Johnson
If you’ve been thinking about couples therapy, this is where we start
This is a space for both of you, where we can sit down together and talk things through in a way that’s often hard to do on your own.
Some couples come with something specific that’s happened, something that needs to be talked through or worked on. Others arrive with a sense that things have been building over time, and it’s starting to feel harder to get back to how things were.
​
You might notice the same arguments coming up again and again, or that conversations don’t seem to go anywhere. One of you might be saying more, the other less. Things might escalate quickly, or get avoided altogether.
​
There might be a clear issue you want to focus on, or it might feel more like a growing distance between you, or a sense that you’re no longer on the same page.
​
A lot of what we look at sits in what happens between you. That might be how you communicate, how you respond to each other, or what tends to happen when things feel difficult.
​
We slow those moments down and look at them properly… what each of you noticed, what you felt, what you needed, and how it was received. As that becomes clearer, things often start to shift.
​
That can include understanding what each of you brings from earlier experiences, as well as finding different ways of responding to each other now.
​
You don’t need to have it all worked out before you come. We can start with where things are now.
​
What it’s like to work with me
I won’t just sit back and let the two of you go round in circles.
​
I’ll be actively involved in helping you slow things down and understand what’s actually happening between you, and I won’t let sessions drift or get stuck in the same place.
​
We’ll look at real moments. Things that have been said, how they were heard, what each of you felt, and how you both responded.
For example, you might bring a recent argument or situation. We can slow that down together and look at what each of you was trying to say, what you needed in that moment, what the other person heard, and how things escalated or shut down. That often helps explain why it keeps happening, and what might feel different next time.
​
At times, we’ll stay with the emotional side of those moments a little longer. Not to make things heavier, but to understand what sits underneath. What matters to each of you, what feels difficult to say, and what you’re each trying to reach for when things go wrong.
​
We’ll also look at the patterns between you. How you tend to move towards or away from each other, what roles you fall into, and what tends to happen when things feel tense, uncertain, or hurtful.
​
Both of you will have space to be heard properly. Not just the words, but what sits underneath them.
​
I’ll guide the conversation, reflect things back, and step in when needed to keep things focused and moving. At times, we might pause and try out a different way of saying something, so it has a better chance of being heard.
​
We can also notice what happens between the three of us in the room, because that often gives a more immediate sense of how you experience each other.
​
The aim isn’t to decide who’s right or wrong. It’s to understand what’s happening between you in a way that leads to change. As that becomes clearer, couples often find they communicate differently, feel more connected, and things begin to shift.
​
​
​
What to expect from sessions
We’ll begin with an initial conversation.
​
A chance for both of you to talk about what’s been happening, ask any questions, and get a feel for whether working together feels right.
​
At the start, the work usually includes one or two sessions together, followed by one or two individual sessions. This helps build a clearer picture of both of your experiences, and how things have developed between you, before we move into the ongoing work.
During the individual sessions, I work with a No Secrets policy, which we would talk through and agree together beforehand. This means that anything important shared individually isn’t kept separate from the work.
​
The aim is to keep the space open and balanced for both of you, so the work doesn’t become divided or feel different depending on who is in the room. It helps us stay focused on what’s happening between you, which is where the change tends to happen.
There’s no pressure to commit straight away. It’s simply a starting point.
​
Sessions are usually weekly.
​
They last 50 minutes, or longer (around 1 hour 20 minutes) if that feels more helpful. We can decide that together depending on what you both need.
​
At the beginning, we’ll take time to understand what’s been happening in your relationship, including any specific issue you want to focus on, as well as anything that feels more ongoing or harder to put into words.
​
We’ll build a clearer picture of what’s been going on between you and what you would like to feel different.
As we continue, sessions become a space where you can bring real conversations, disagreements, or situations, and we can look at them together in more detail.
​
Change doesn’t usually happen in one big moment. It tends to build gradually, as things begin to make more sense and you both start to respond differently to each other.
​
This might be right for you if…
You might recognise your relationship here if you’re dealing with something specific that needs to be worked through, or if the same difficulties keep coming up without resolution.
​
You might find conversations escalate quickly, shut down, or leave one or both of you feeling unheard or misunderstood.
​
You might be working through a change, a breach of trust, or a shift in your relationship that’s left things feeling unsettled.
Or you might care about the relationship, but feel like you’re drifting or struggling to reconnect.
​
You don’t need to have it all worked out before you come. We can start with what feels most important and take it from there.
A note before you reach out
This work is most helpful when both people are willing to take part and be present in the process.
​
It’s not about taking sides, but about understanding what’s happening between you.
​
I don’t work with couples where there is active domestic abuse or where one person feels unsafe in the relationship. If this becomes clear at any point, I would pause the couples work and speak with you about more appropriate support, which may include individual work or specialist services.
​
This is to make sure that everyone is supported in a way that is safe and appropriate.
​
And it’s okay if things feel uncertain at this stage. That’s often where couples begin.
​